Self-Criticism: Understanding Its Subtle Signs and How Therapy Can Help
1. Overthinking Everything You Say
You replay conversations and scan for mistakes. Did I say the wrong thing. Did I talk too much or not enough.
This is not just anxiety. It is your inner critic trying to keep you safe by preventing future shame.
Therapy helps you notice when the critic hijacks your thoughts and respond with curiosity instead of shame. If worry spirals are part of this, learn to calm your mind and stop living in what ifs.
2. Apologizing for Existing
You say sorry when someone bumps into you or when you share an opinion.
Often this comes from learning early that harmony mattered more than honesty.
In therapy, you explore where this began and practice taking up space without guilt. Building self-trust here often pairs well with therapy for self-worth and confidence.
3. Deflecting Compliments
You crave validation but feel uncomfortable when you receive it. You say "It was nothing" or "You're just being nice".
Self-criticism teaches that accepting praise is risky.
Therapy shifts this by helping you name real strengths and accept kind feedback in a grounded way. If you have tried positive affirmations and they never stick, read Why Positive Thinking Does not Build Self-Worth.
4. Feeling Guilty When You Rest
If you are not productive, anxiety rises. You may believe rest must be earned.
Worth becomes tied to output, which guarantees burnout.
Therapy helps you step off the hamster wheel and build rest into your week without shame. When low energy turns into stuckness, this post helps too: Therapy for Worry and Overthinking: 5 Steps to Take Control of Your Mind.
5. Ruminating on Past Mistakes
You replay last week or last year and think I should have known better.
This is not helpful reflection. It is rumination that hopes punishment will prevent future mistakes.
In therapy, you meet your past self with compassion and move forward with context and care.
6. Constant Comparison
You scroll and suddenly feel behind. Everyone else seems more confident and in control.Comparison often signals unstable self-worth.
Therapy helps you stop measuring your value against others and build a steadier sense of self that does not depend on performance or pace.
7. Seeking Reassurance that Never Sticks
You ask: "Did I mess that up?" and even when people say "You were great", relief fades fast.
The critic already decided you failed and is hunting for proof.
Therapy builds internal reassurance by strengthening self-trust. If anxiety ramps everything up at night, this is a helpful read: Why Can’t I Calm Down Understanding Anxiety and Finding Relief.
8. The Goalpost Keeps Moving
You achieve the thing, but it never feels like enough.When worth feels conditional, peace stays out of reach.
Therapy is transformative here. You learn that your value is not contingent on achievement or perfection. You get to experience calm, connection, and rest without proving anything.
These Signs of Self-Criticism Don't Have to Be Your Normal
If these signs of self-criticism resonate, you are not failing. You have been carrying a lot and your system learned to protect you by staying on high alert.
At Today Tomorrow Yesterday Therapy, we specialize in self-criticism, perfectionism, and emotional burnout. We offer affordable, Canada-wide virtual therapy with grounded, compassionate therapists who get it. You do not need to be more or better. You need a safe place to be yourself.
Ready to start?
Book a free consultation today. to feel out fit and next steps.
